Cruisin

In exactly 150 days I will be on the high seas sailing for ports in the Caribbean. My friend of 35+ years and I are going on a cruise to Jamaica, Grand Cayman Island, and Cozumel during the Thanksgiving Holiday. I can hardly wait.

I've never been on a cruise and I am both excited and afraid at the same time. My excitement comes from the simple fact of "it's a cruise" and the fear comes from the fact "it's a cruise."

I've always wanted to go to a tropical island with white sand, blue water, fruity drinks, and hot guys in short pants. At my age, I'm guessing I better be happy with the sand and water. I can't drink any more due to high blood pressure and hot guys in short pants have a tendency to shy away from old, fat ladies :) That's okay, I can still look at them. I guess it's a good thing I was never able to go to Jamaica when I was younger, because I just know I would have taken advantage of the tropical climate's wonderful agriculture products and probably landed in jail on some type of drug charge. This way, I'll just lie in the sun and splash around in the water like all good little girls should do :)

The other day, Debby brought up the question of whether we should take out cruise insurance. When I asked her why, she replied "in case you fall down the stairs and break a leg." I wondered why I had to be the one to fall and break a bone, she's the one with a bum knee, but no... it seems a fall down the stairs and a broken leg are in my future. I was okay with the injury (I know there has to be some kind of drugs to tide me over until I could see a doctor) until Debby made the comment that the insurance would pay for the helicopter ride to take me to the mainland to see a doctor. I yelped, "helicopter - you know I don't fly" and she made the wise assumption that chances are, there would not be another cruise ship just bobbing around on the ocean waiting to give me a ride to the hospital. Let's all pray that I stay healthy and unbroken, because if I have to ride in a helicopter I'm going to need some of Jamaica's #1 export and I'm not talking about sugar cane or rum :)

Now that I'm thinking about the cruise, the theme song from The Poseidon Adventure is running through my head. I can see it now, if the ship turns over I'll be trying to get my fat ass through a little bitty hole just like Shelly Winters did. Oh, wait - she died in the movie. That's not good!

Well, it's time to scan the movie channels and see if "The Poseidon Adventure", "A Perfect Storm" or "Jaws" is on the tv. I'll think I'll sneak "Jaws" on board in my suitcase and Debby and I will have to watch it on our first night at sea.