Crack For Breakfast

Today has been a very interesting day for me. My kids at school apparently have been eating crack for breakfast. Try to picture fourteen special ed 7th graders on crack. They wouldn't be able to sit still; they wouldn't be able to be quiet; they wouldn't be able to write a legible sentence; and they would invariable drive their teacher crazy. That was the scene in my first block class this morning. The morning started off calmly, but it wasn't long before all hell broke loose and the crack kicked in. I found myself saying things like "No, don't put your pencil in the electric socket; No, you can't go to the bathroom, office, gym, next door, lunch room, nurse's office, guidance counselor, etc; Yes, you know how to write a sentence; Put your shoes back on; Don't touch your neighbors; and Yes, you are getting a grade for the assignment" all to one student in the span of 15 minutes. I kid you not, "crack for breakfast." I'm not going to lie to you, all middle school students can have their off days, but for the entire class to hink up at the same time leads me to believe someone's uncle is a crack dealer and is missing part of his stash. I'm seriously thinking of making a suggestion to my principal that would make days like today go by a lot smoother. I'm thinking that every teacher's lounge should have a valium or xanex lick next to the copy machine. It could be like the salt lick that cows and deer love so much. Whenever a teacher is having a bad day, he or she could just go by the block and take a lick or two. It would sure make teaching a more enjoyable experience. Of course I can't really suggest this, seeing as how I'm pretty sure I couldn't make it in the pen, but I can dream.